HOW IMPORTANT DO YOU THINK SEX IS TO OUR LIVES?
First, what do we mean by sex? I'm not talking of that short period of time, the few minutes during which sex partners are in bed together and one of them is penetrated by the other. My idea of sex is much broader than that.
When I talk about sex, I include our consciousness of the presence or near presence or absence of the opposit sex. It covers our entire knowledge of the presence or absence of the opposite sex.
To give you an idea how broad the subject of sex is, let me borrow from Wikipedia. It defines human sexuality as:
"Human sexuality is the way people experience and express themselves sexually. This involves biological, psychological, physical, erotic, emotional, social, or spiritual feelings and behaviors. Because it is a broad term, which has varied with historical contexts over time, it lacks a precise definition".
It goes further to describe response cycle as:
"The human sexual response cycle is a four-stage model of physiological responses to sexual stimulation, which, in order of their occurrence, are the excitement, plateau, orgasmic, and resolution phases. This physiological response model was first formulated by William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson, in their 1966 book Human Sexual Response. Since that time, other models regarding human sexual response have been formulated by several scholars who have criticized certain inaccuracies in the human sexual response cycle model."
Now that you have an idea of what I mean by sex, how important do you think it is in our lives? In fact, sex is everything. It is our raison d'être. (Raison d'être /ËŒreɪzÉ’̃ ˈdÉ›trÉ™/ is a French expression commonly used in English, meaning "reason for being" or "reason to be".) Sex is so central to our lives such that, apart from our sense of religion, nothing is more controlling of human nature, human life, than sex. It is therefore not an accident that sex is the way all animals reproduce themselves.
The surprising irony is that no truth is more denied than the fact that we are all looking for sex. Everybody is desperately looking for sex. All these your pictures on your social media profiles - the makeups, the special image enhancements and effects, etc reflect our quest for sex. It is a constant desperation for every normal person. But nobody can admit it. We all will pretend that sex is not on our mind. That's not true. Sex is on your mind. Sex is the reason you do everything. That is why you go to church. Those makeups and special dressing when going to church are not for God. Nobody dresses up to impress God. It is the opposite sex we are trying to impress.
If we realize that sex is everything, why do we have too many taboos around sex? Why are we in denial? Why do we pretend we are not interested in sex? Why do we condemn a woman for having a lot of sex with many men over a given period of time? She just did what we would have wanted you do.
Because we have too many taboos around sex, people hide their sexuality. And because they hide it, many bad things become associated with sex. To prove this, how do you feel when you walk into a store to buy condom? You look around to make sure people are not looking at you, and then you whisper to the store keeper: "Do you have condom"?. Why can't you buy condom with the same tone and confidence with which you buy a pack of chocolate? Because you have been conditioned to feel ashamed or embarrassed whenever you reveal that you need sex.
The purpose of this write-up is to tell you that you need not be timid or fearful when dealing with sex. You need to be bold about sex, so that you can get exactly what you want. Those who are so secretive or so shy about their sexual needs often end up with the wrong partner. But if, as a lady, you can be bold enough to tell a man you like that you will like to have sex with him, he may want that too. But those who must wait until the man makes the first move, will likely wait and hope that the right man comes. So especially for women, something that would have been a matter of choice for you becomes a matter of luck.
Sex is too important and too central to our lives that we should never leave it to chance.
Credit: Emeka Ugwuonye