One of the reasons modern relationships fail is lack of making BREAKUP the last resolve. Many young people get into relationships with the quitter mindset already. It’s like they are one argument away from breakup; one fight away from calling it off; one misunderstanding away from annulling the relationship and the ramifications of this pattern is lack of commitment. Lack of commitment.
There are extremities where people should leave — in cases of blatant and chronic abuse. However, that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about the mental lethargy young people have towards the reality of making relationships work. Oh okay, It’s akin to wanting to drop out from school at every point of struggle. It just doesn’t show dedication. I think that we don’t understand the potency of commitment until it’s difficult to stay committed. That’s commitment.
Relationships work, but it has to be worked on. And for it to be duly worked on, both parties need to see LEAVING as the last resort and not the first. Nobody builds anything by wanting to leave at every slightest opportunity. You see, no matter how similar, compatible and in love you are with someone, you’ll be at loggerheads, you’ll fight, but what isn’t realized is that the beauty of relationships is built through every disagreement and fight. These are enhancers of intimacy.
In this moment, ask yourself if you are really committed in your relationship. I don’t mean verbal commitment; I don’t even mean lack of cheating. I mean the resolve to STAY and make it work. Of course, with a fellow willing partner.
I always knew that beautiful relationships are a one-off event; they are product of multiple processes. Processes of having difficult conversations, forgiving, rebuilding, enduring. ENDURING! Yes. I know some eyebrows will be raised by that. I know that endurance has a negative connotation based on how it’s been used to justify abuse, but it doesn’t stop the fact that the Bible defines love as LONG-SUFFERING. Have you suffered long for the relationship you’re building? Love suffers long. It holds down in perseverance. Is your love preserving? Does your love give up easily?
