Things you must do when a close friend or lover changes.

 When a close person changes, the first reaction is always heartbreak. You feel so angry, so sad, so confused, and so helpless, all at the same time. It takes you a while to even accept that even that person can change. But what should you do? First, you should respect the depth of that bond. You should always tell the person clearly what changes you have seen, and how this has hurt you so badly. If that person does not accept the mistake or does not do anything to correct it, then it’s all up to you. That bond has gone from “special” to “just another.”

Now you have two choices. Either you can close this chapter and walk away forever or you can accept the demotion of your importance in that person’s life and stay there. I personally will choose to leave 99 times of 100. But maybe for one person, I will stab my own heart and still stay. Why? Some pains are worth suffering. But do I suggest you do that? No. Please don’t. It hurts like hell. You will never get used to it. You will never accept this change. You will never accept that you don’t matter that much anymore. Your soul will burn. Your heart will ache.

How to do the first thing, to walk away? Walk away with grace. Don’t do ugly fighting. Don’t remind what you have done for that person. Don’t emotionally blackmail that person into staying the same. You can’t do that anymore. You don’t have that right over that person anymore. It will only make it more ugly, more messy, and more bitter. Just walk away with a smile. Don’t even keep in touch. Don’t give them the comfort that things are somehow still the same. No. Things have completely changed. You are no more a part of their life. Delete. Block. Don’t even wish on bdays, the end.

How to do the second thing, to still stay? Don’t. I repeat. Don’t. But if you still have to, then please try to give lesser and lesser. Try to become a mirror of their efforts, their care, their importance, and their time. Always remind yourself that things are not the same anymore. Always remind yourself to hold back. Eventually, try to leave because there is only pain in this, only pain.

~ Rahul Kaushik